Tribute to Kickoff Waterloo
"Do Not Disturb" (2020. Live, urban sketch of Bill)
--The following text was composed in 2017 and titled "Mundane Monday".--
Here we are, the Kickoff regulars. Goddamn it there's still daylight out. Yet here we sit, in this dimly lit, dingy little sports bar. There's nobody else here but us, and Bill - that lovable old curmudgeon. And the liquor.*
A Jays game plays out quietly on the two TVs. Sharp, dry sounds of hardball smacking leather and cracking wood provide an irregular rhythm over which the announcer's voice drones. Occasional cheers and claps from the crowd provide a soothing white noise like ocean waves crashing in the distance. Bill sits quietly behind the bar, busily tapping away at his smartphone. He's lost in a world outside the bar. We - the emotional dependents - sit on stools and chairs individually lost in our own mundane affairs.
The Teacher fiddles with a new phone he just purchased (transaction completed within these four walls). The Postdoc scrolls through messages on his phone. The Divorced Dad stands outside, just a few feet from the door, smoking a cigarette and navigating the world on his own phone. The depressed artist and UW science alumnus, The Artist, sits at the bar scribbling in a sketchbook. He's bored and inspired. Suddenly, the silence is broken by The Postdoc loudly cheering "Yay! Yesss! Go Jays! Woo hoo!!" The Artist briefly breaks from his scribbling to join The Postdoc in his enthusiasm and gives him a high-five. Moments later, all is quiet again. Then The Tall one walks in and sits down by himself at a table. Soon he's lost in his phone.
The Artist glances at the single large picture window and sees two more regulars standing outside. It's Twangy and Rocker. Once they're inside, the dull mood finally begins to change. Within minutes a game of doubles foosball is underway and hard taps and claps and cheering erupt. The Artist's concentration is broken and the scribbling stops.
*
There's plenty on tap at Kickoff, and plenty more in the fridge. The high rotation of the 14 taps means there's always something that must be tried. On any given day you'll find a mix of IPAs, Sours, Trappists, Pilsners, Lagers, Pale Ales, ESBs, Stouts, Porters, Irish Reds, Scotch Ales, Fruit Beers, Ciders, Funky Experimentals, etc. Name just about any beer style and Kickoff either has it or has had it on tap.
There's even more to try on the shelves behind the bar. It's a little known secret, but one of the region's best selections of Scotch exists in this dingy little sports bar. What's more, the top shelf whiskies are priced better than anywhere else. And they're accompanied by a living encyclopedia: that old curmudgeon himself, Bill. He'll describe the region each whisky comes from, its unique characteristics, tasting notes, and so on. The man has years of education and experience in the food and beverage industry, both in serving and manufacturing. On those shelves you'll also find a variety of Irish whiskeys, bourbons, and fine aged tequilas that are so smooth and complex no North American would believe they were drinking tequila.
Here we are, the Kickoff regulars. Goddamn it there's still daylight out. Yet here we sit, in this dimly lit, dingy little sports bar. There's nobody else here but us, and Bill - that lovable old curmudgeon. And the liquor.*
A Jays game plays out quietly on the two TVs. Sharp, dry sounds of hardball smacking leather and cracking wood provide an irregular rhythm over which the announcer's voice drones. Occasional cheers and claps from the crowd provide a soothing white noise like ocean waves crashing in the distance. Bill sits quietly behind the bar, busily tapping away at his smartphone. He's lost in a world outside the bar. We - the emotional dependents - sit on stools and chairs individually lost in our own mundane affairs.
The Teacher fiddles with a new phone he just purchased (transaction completed within these four walls). The Postdoc scrolls through messages on his phone. The Divorced Dad stands outside, just a few feet from the door, smoking a cigarette and navigating the world on his own phone. The depressed artist and UW science alumnus, The Artist, sits at the bar scribbling in a sketchbook. He's bored and inspired. Suddenly, the silence is broken by The Postdoc loudly cheering "Yay! Yesss! Go Jays! Woo hoo!!" The Artist briefly breaks from his scribbling to join The Postdoc in his enthusiasm and gives him a high-five. Moments later, all is quiet again. Then The Tall one walks in and sits down by himself at a table. Soon he's lost in his phone.
The Artist glances at the single large picture window and sees two more regulars standing outside. It's Twangy and Rocker. Once they're inside, the dull mood finally begins to change. Within minutes a game of doubles foosball is underway and hard taps and claps and cheering erupt. The Artist's concentration is broken and the scribbling stops.
*
There's plenty on tap at Kickoff, and plenty more in the fridge. The high rotation of the 14 taps means there's always something that must be tried. On any given day you'll find a mix of IPAs, Sours, Trappists, Pilsners, Lagers, Pale Ales, ESBs, Stouts, Porters, Irish Reds, Scotch Ales, Fruit Beers, Ciders, Funky Experimentals, etc. Name just about any beer style and Kickoff either has it or has had it on tap.
There's even more to try on the shelves behind the bar. It's a little known secret, but one of the region's best selections of Scotch exists in this dingy little sports bar. What's more, the top shelf whiskies are priced better than anywhere else. And they're accompanied by a living encyclopedia: that old curmudgeon himself, Bill. He'll describe the region each whisky comes from, its unique characteristics, tasting notes, and so on. The man has years of education and experience in the food and beverage industry, both in serving and manufacturing. On those shelves you'll also find a variety of Irish whiskeys, bourbons, and fine aged tequilas that are so smooth and complex no North American would believe they were drinking tequila.
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